Summer is right around the corner, and it’s time to have a plan for honoring your grief in a season often brimming with fun. The sun is finally stepping out from behind the clouds, days feel warmer, and more people are out and about. This is a season that feels lighter and more open. But if you’ve been experiencing the shadows of grief, stepping back into the sunshine can feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable. You may even feel guilty about experiencing joy again after loss. It can feel like you are not supposed to shine after spending so much time under gray skies.
But know this: You are allowed to feel that warmth again. You are allowed to indulge in those moments of happiness. This doesn’t diminish the grief or the love you carry for the person you are missing. It simply means you need to find room for both sorrow and joy in the same heart.
Consider a bucket list
This is where a summer bucket list can be helpful. It offers simple ways to reconnect with yourself, rediscover joy, and create manageable moments during a time of mixed emotions. You might choose to visit a place you have always wanted to explore (even if it is close to home), or try a new hobby to see whether something unexpected sparks joy. You could take a recharge day to rest, reset, or simply breathe. You might honor a loved one in a way that feels meaningful to you or revisit something you used to love. If it no longer fits who you are now, give yourself permission to try something new instead. You could also cook a new recipe or return to a comforting favorite. Whatever you choose, move at a pace that feels right for you.
Create an anti-bucket list as well
It is just as important to name what you do not want to carry with you. An “anti‑bucket” list creates space for boundaries and protects your emotional energy during busy or overwhelming times. You might decide that you do not want to isolate yourself when you actually need connection, or force yourself to attend events before you feel ready. You may choose not to push down your emotions just to keep up with others. Don’t view these as limitations, but as gentle reminders that you deserve to move through the season in ways that honor where you are and what you need.
No matter what this summer looks like for you, trust that you are doing the best you can with what you have. Some days you may feel ready to stretch toward the sun, and other days you may need to retreat into the shade. Both are part of being human. Even after long stretches of gray, you are still capable of growing toward the light, one small moment at a time.
By Jalynn Sears