Tuning into your five senses can be a surprising yet easy way to handle grief moments. Grief can feel a lot like being strapped into a rollercoaster you never agreed to ride. One moment you’re inching forward slowly, trying to steady yourself. The next you’re plunging into a wave of emotions that hits without warning. Some days twist and turn so quickly that it’s hard to catch your breath; other days leave you suspended in the quiet climb, waiting for the next drop you can’t predict.
When those emotional loops become overwhelming and your mind starts to spiral, focusing on your five senses can offer a small moment of steadiness. Sensory grounding helps shift your focus away from the rush of painful thoughts and brings you back into the present, even if just for a moment. One way to do this is by creating a self‐soothe kit — a small collection of comforting items you can reach for whenever the ride of grief feels especially intense.
Create a self-soothe kit
A self‐soothe kit works by engaging each of your senses in a calming, intentional way, almost like giving yourself a handrail to hold onto during the sharp turns. For sight, choose a few items that bring comfort or steadiness. This could be photos of loved ones, a favorite art print, or letters you’ve written to yourself on clearer days. From there, think about touch. Add items that give your hands something soothing to do, such as soft fabric, playdough or putty, or a stress ball. These can release tension and bring your awareness back into your body.
Next, consider sound. Include tools that help create calm in the middle of the noise. Noise‐canceling headphones can quiet the world when it feels too loud, while playlists of favorite songs or nature sounds can help slow your breathing and steady your thoughts. Then move to taste. Choose simple items that offer a quick sensory anchor. Hard candy, mints, or gum can give you something immediate and tangible to focus on when you need a fast reset, helping you stay present when the ride feels disorienting. Finally, round out your kit with smell. Add scents that feel comforting or familiar. You could use travel‐size perfumes and colognes, essential oils, or even scented lotions to help create a sense of calm.
Keep these items in a small bag, pouch, or even in your car so they’re always within reach whenever you find yourself back on that ride. The goal isn’t to stop the rollercoaster, but to give yourself something steady to hold onto along the way. When the twists come too quickly or the drops feel too sharp, your kit gives you the tools to help you pause, breathe, and find your footing again.
Grief is heavy, and the ride can be exhausting, but your kit can help you carry the weight with a little more steadiness. When the emotions surge and the track feels unsteady beneath you, you’ll have something to help you move through each moment with care and a bit more control.
-By Jalynn Sears